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Monday, January 19th, 2009
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11:24 pm
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The human body is what, 55-60% water? Or is that the Earth? Whatever, we're mostly water, key point here. After spending 8 hours with a sick 2 year old I have come to the conclusion that that water turns to mucus. It is the only logical way to explain all that snot. You wipe my niece's nose and she cries which just produces more snot. Telling her that crying makes it worse does nothing. NOTHING. It is funny to tell her to blow her nose though because she does it out her mouth. Not very helpful.
So Saturday we were in Dunner for Aut's 2nd b-day (actually on Tuesday 20th). She loves my dad's boxer Jadee. At first Aut forced me to pick her up so she could throw toys for Jaydee, then I just had to stand behind her so she could run and hide behind my legs, then Aut just didn't care. It was funny to listen to Aut yell Jadee in a sick kid voice and to watch her grab her face and kiss the puppy.
Aut has also learned that my name is Auntie and that if she yells Auntie I respond. So needless to say every 5 minutes at dad's Aut was yelling for Auntie. To sit in the chair next to her, to watch her play on the computer, pick her up, then drop her, then repeat so on and so forth. It was cute at first but damn now she knows how to get my attention. At least she doesn't call me mom anymore.
Oh and I'm now sick because of the snotball. yaaaaaaay. I will get all whiney soon.
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| Tuesday, January 6th, 2009
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9:05 pm - Just say no to Marky Mark
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Honestly I've never cried this much in my entire life. I can remember times that I've cried do to sadness and pain but nothing compares to this. Every few minutes I start crying all over again. Did someone die? No. It's over a book...... yeeeeeeaaaaah. The thing is I've read this book before, I knew I'd cry here and there but I wasn't expecting to burst into tears like at least twice a chapter. I'm scared I think my eyes and or emotions are broken. I seriously don't remember crying this much the first time.
Oh and the book is "The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold. It's about a teen age girl that is brutally raped and murdered, she watches her family and friends try to cope with that and the fact that the murderer gets away. I mean come on! It's making me cry. I actually found out today that they are making a movie based on the book. I was super excited and I literally was thinking to myself the other day that this would make a really great movie. So to hear that it was being made into a movie was excited until i saw two things: 1. It was directed by Peter Jackson and 2. Mrky mark plays the dad.
Those two things will kill the movie! Kill it! Jackson directed the KingKong remake and the LoTR movies all of which i couldn't sit through. So he has that strike against him. And Marky Mark? Are you bloddy kidding me? Mark Wahlberg is suppose to be Jack Salmon? No. No. No. He doesn't have the range. A friend once told me "it's like directors tell him "Mark i want you to look at the screen and try to do complex math in your head" the dude has one face. Confused." Jack is a complex character whose entire life is turned upside down after his daughter's death. He... mark.... just NO.
Oh and i hate my room mate. With a passion
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| Monday, December 29th, 2008
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1:35 pm
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I love this time of year. Not because of the snow (which there is none. I mean come on! I have my balcony door wide open) or because of X-mas, but because i get to see all my old highschool friends that have since moved to different cities. That's what we did on Saturday.
To sum it up
- I had a cockatiel dive-bomb my face, resulting in my screaming and ducking
-Just generally making Rich lose at Jeopardy. It was so easy. He would know the answer but if you yelled out something else he would pick that.... you had to be there
-The quest to find the new Silver city complete with hookers in training ("Rolled down your window so I can offer them $20"). I'm going to say it. What is with teens these days and the clothes they wear?
-Finding Silver City to discovered it is closed due to power failure, slamming off a curb causing my to scream and duck again
-Driving to Ancaster just to drive around the parking lot because there were literally no spots
-The woman*
-Getting drunk at Boston Pizza and me telling people that I'm now sober as I drink my rye and coke.
*The woman. She is one of those people that shouldn't be allowed to drive. We were trying to find a parking spot and was stuck for 5 minutes in this one place because of her. We were heading north when we stop because she was half turned into our lane (she had come from the west and was turning left to head north). Instead of her just turning and going on her way she stopped. Yeah. Stopped. We couldn't move because she was blocking us, the people behind her couldn't move because she wasn't moving. So we waited. And waited. She just fucking sat there.
Cars started to honk their horns at her, so what does she do? She does what any logical person would do....SHE STARTS TO BACK THE FUCK UP! Instead of just driving she tries to back up, which she can't do because there is someone behind her. Let me stress this, THERE WAS NO ONE INFRONT OF HER, bitch could have just drove but she decides to back up. So the car behind her had to back up causing a chain reaction because there were a few cars there. She finally gets backed up enough so that we can go so we drive on, want to know what happens next? She starts to honk at us. Yeah.
Just to cute this post up a bit I give you a X-mas conversation between myself and my 2 year old niece.
Aut: "two?"
Me: "No, auntie is tired. i don't want to pick you up."
Aut: "Two?"
Me: "No."
Aut:"Peeeeeeeeas?" (she says this with a fake smile. You know it's fake, it looks really fake but it's cute)
Me:"....fine. One..."
Aut:"twoooo..."
Me:" three. JUMP! What do you say?"
Aut:"Peas?"
Me:"I was looking for thank you. Say that you."
(Insert her baby talk for thank you)
Me"You're welcome."
Aut: "welcome."
Then i proceeded to make her do her animals noises. She has kitty, puppy, cow, bird, turkey, chicken, snake, monkey, pig, dinosaur, lion/tiger (same noise as dino) and a bear. Apparently a bear sayhs "bear, bear, bear" Oh then I made Aut show mom where the baby is, she points to her mom's tummy because she is preggers.
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| Saturday, December 13th, 2008
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8:56 pm - I have seen awesome
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| Wednesday, December 10th, 2008
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11:37 pm
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Nothing really new or interesting to report. Having said that I somehow derailed a thread about video games into animal training with negative enforcement. The response i got from one member made me laugh
"yeah, so i wouldn't argue with our resident barbarian. she'll kill you. and not in a "haha, i'm going to kill you" way. She will STOP. YOUR. HEART."
(I'm know as She-Barbarian of the North)
Oh and I entered a new level of geekiness. I'm now participating in a forum RPG.. I had to make a character sheet and everything. This is a RPG that is SMBC style.
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| Friday, November 28th, 2008
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7:51 pm
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So I had a job interview today. Would have been great if I still lived on the mountain, it was about an hour and 30 bus ride. Faster interview too. In an out before my scheduled appointment (I always show up early). I was pretty sure I didn't get it ""well right now we have people in the other room that are training. if one of them doesn't work out we'll call you. so talk to you next week" At about 7:30pm they called me. I start tomorrow at 10am.
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| Thursday, November 20th, 2008
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1:33 am
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Hector (the mouse in my apartment) has gotten a lot braver. Now he runs out in the open. I guess this says a lot about me, that I'm quiet of something but Hector has to go. Soon I'm going to by these live traps. If they don't work after a week I'll go lethal. He is just so damn cute. I just don't understand how he is survivng here. None of my food has been chewed through in the cupboards, I don't leave food out. Sigh.
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| Wednesday, November 19th, 2008
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11:27 am - Link goodness
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| Saturday, November 15th, 2008
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8:51 pm
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I had a dream that I grafted one cactus to another. I Watched little root thingies grab onto the other cactus. Then it became sentient and started walking around. It actually morphed into a human baby.... Kinda freaked me out.
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| Wednesday, November 5th, 2008
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10:58 am
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It's because of stuff like this I love playing Kingdom of Loathing.
 | You're fighting a caveman hippy |
Unlike modern hippies, this one subsists on a primitive diet of nuts, berries, and twigs. Huh.Unlike modern hippies, this one exudes the funk of not having discovered bathing yet. Huh. Unlike modern hippies, this one's hair is a snarl of mud and ... okay, never mind. You can tell he's a caveman because of the protruding brow and the low-cost car insurance.
 | You're fighting an Irritating Series of Random Encounters |
You're trying to walk from the front of the airship to the back, but you are unable to do so without being attacked by a series of 30 or 40 nearly identical nondescript enemies. Man, that's irritating.
 | You're fighting a Furry Giant |
You are approached by a giant anthropomorphic wolf. You scream in terror as it comes closer, until you realize it's actually a giant dressed in an elaborate wolf costume, complete with velcro flap over its . . . good god. You scream louder, in fury this time. Furry fury.
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| Monday, November 3rd, 2008
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1:00 pm
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So Halloween came and went. My niece was cute as a button of course but every year I stop and wonder, where are all the trick or treaters? Back when I was a kid Halloween was the bee's knees (not that old but sounds cool). I mean everyone was hopped up for this day. Staying up late, free candy.... free candy but every year less and less kids go trick or treating. My Dad, bless his neurotic heart, keeps tallies every year of how many kids come by for future reference, yeah. Anyhoo, every year that number is lower and lower. Why? I mean Friday was like one of the two best nights ever for Halloween to fall on and it was warm (not like when I was a kid when sometimes there would be snow on the ground. Thats right, I remember snow). Then I read about the 12 year old boy shot dead while trick or treating.
What els,e what else. Oh! Going to TO on November 14th, or 15th or 16th. Why? THE AGO IS REOPENING!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I've been waiting for this day for 2 years. Ever since the Jolan and myself went there on a whim and found out that it was being "transformed" by Frank Gehry. Quoted from the AGO website:
"The Transformed Art Gallery of Ontario is Toronto native Frank Gehry’s most recent building, and his first in Canada. Hallmarks of his AGO design include dramatic sculptural staircases, the warmth of Douglas fir, and the extensive use of glass to infuse the galleries with natural light and connect the city and the Gallery in provocative new ways."
Beyond excited. Joe, Trish and myself are already planning on the trip. Now that i double checked the times i think we'll hit the Eaton Centre first.. Oh, and I want to sleep in a puppy pile
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| Monday, October 20th, 2008
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4:59 pm
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I do have mice. Well at least a mouse for sure. I heard it and saw it. HE/She/it was in that drawer that electric ovens have, the place a broiler is on a gas oven. I scared the bitch out. I saw it run away towards my living room. Hector was small dark brown/black. I named it Hector.
So I decided on the rank for my kitties. Commodore Fuzzy Paws for sure and the other will be Admiral Fluffy Butt or Admiral Fuzzy Paws. I've also decided that whoever kills Hector shall be given the higher rank. Fight and kill for my love, as it should be. I really wish I could have gotten the orange kitten, the I could have a red-headed step child that I say I love as much as my other child but we both know it's not true. However 1. he was spoken for and 2. It was a he.
Oh did I mention that the oven drawer is where i keep my frying pans? Yeah. Hector has to die...... Don't tell Omagus.
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| Saturday, October 18th, 2008
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9:13 pm - Sad
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| Thursday, October 16th, 2008
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11:11 pm
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I cannot decide on a name. Admiral Fuzzy Paws, Admiral Fluffy Butt, Captain Fuzzy Paws or Captain Fluffy Butt. This will be the name to Commodore Fuzzy Paw's sister. I got to met them tonight, AD-FUCKING-ORABLE! One little girl, which is one of my future cats (thats right I'm having a house full of female pussies) fell asleep in my lap. Then I watched as my niece ran away terrified of the kittens and them chasing after her. This amused me. Autumn also stepped on the sleepy lap kitten's paw and head. On accident of course. It was just a cute overload night
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| Tuesday, October 14th, 2008
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7:54 pm - Loaded burger
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I had a dream while I was sick. I made hamburgers with everything I want on them inside them. So I figure a fever induced dream is a perfect reason to make loaded burgers.
( Pictures! )
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12:15 pm - Fey as Palin
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| Friday, October 10th, 2008
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4:37 pm - A thousand times YES
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| Wednesday, October 8th, 2008
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12:56 am - Have you ever realized you're a bad person?
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Have you ever had a conversation with a person and realized that you are a bad person? Or at least seriously messed up? After looking back at tonight's conversation with my buddy Gabe I have to wonder how people can talk to me for more than 15 minutes.
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| Saturday, September 27th, 2008
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10:36 am - ffs
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I found the down side to living near the lake. I cannot open any windows or go out on my balcony because of these tiny black flying bugs. They are everywhere! As soon as I open an outside door/window dozens of them get inside (my guess is to get some place warm for fall/winter or apparently just to die on my floor). Last night my living room ceiling was just a black moving mess.
The only thing I can guess is that they are a bug commonly called noseeums. Noseeums apparently live near water, however a lot of what I've found says the females bite (something about blood for the eggs blah blah blah I tuned out) and I've never been bitten by one. Not even when I came across them earlier in the year. That was nasty. Shit, I hope come spring they stay near water and avoid my home.
Other news I'm pleased to say I own an advanced copy of the book "Challenged, Conquered and Owned". Ok, granted it's the e-book version but still I own an advanced copy. It really pays to know the author. Its a collection of short stories about her experiences in the D/S world. I have to say I love Marm's writing style, its very natural and humourous, I was literally laughing out loud.
Oh! The best game ever is Spore. I love it! I'll take a screen capture to show you all the current evolution state of my creature, Herpes. Thats right, I'm evolving herpes.
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| Thursday, September 18th, 2008
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11:46 pm - sigh
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I think my new place has rats or mice. Now I love rodents, as pets to so much running around my place. Having said that I haven't found any feces in the cupboards, or chewed up cereal boxes and such. I have seen dark things seemingly dart under the couch. Then again I'm the person that thought I saw a glowing mouse, pigeons in the house, dwarfs messing up my room etc, etc. Basically I have a fertile imagination.
This fertile imagination has led me to carry around a golf putter that I jab into the corner I hear the scraping in. I never see anything dart away, nor does anything leap for my face which makes me think that whatever it is, lives between the walls (yeah, now I'm totally picturing that movie. You know the one, "The People Under the Stairs"). The sound always comes from the same place so it would be smart to move everything and look for poop........ "What did you do this weekend?" "I looked for poo." I would do that now, however due to my pride I royally fucked up my back and can hardly sit upright let along move the god damn furniture that did this to me. Whatever, if I end up having mice/rats in the apartment it just gives something for Commodore Fuzzy Paws to hunt.
Oh yeah. I moved. I love this place. Its cheap, close to everything (seriously you name it and its with in walking distance. Something for all my friends. The stoners, the sex fiends, the drunks, the vegetarians, the gamers, etc. everyone). So yeah this place rocks. On clear days I can see T.O. from my balcony, windows facing north, south and west, it's 1408 (this makes me giggle and adds to the paranoia).
Ok this is killing me. I'm going to hobble outside and have a smoke and get back to my book. "The Wheel of Time" series by Robert Jordan, yeah my new literary crack. Why did he have to die before the last one was written? Selfish, selfish man.
current mood:  sore
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